Chronicles of Cow Lance Volume 1

Good day friends.

Our adventure today started in the usual manner, by crowding the seemingly shrinking M^F castle’s main room. It is indeed fortunate that the Cow, Lich and Llama lances had been added, as we would need the room. New also to this hunt is dye tubs at the head of each lance – colour coding is hoped to improve organization.

The banter was light-hearted, as the adventurers knew today’s hunt would be no walk in the park. Truth be told, it was actually a walk on the beach, but I will not let the truth get in the way of a good story.

Ceridwyn begins her pre-hunt spiel with a statement of the obvious…

The time comes to split the group into lances and we all attempt to squeeze into half the room – and no stacking and no hiding – we need a head count! Everybody’s too close for comfort – except Martin. Beck takes exception, however…

…and the timely removal of the hand from Beck’s posterior allows us to continue without further interruption.

Lance leaders are called for, and a few of the take their places, but it seems that we’re short a few lance leaders. I’ve always been a stup- er.. brave sort, so I volunteered. As fate would have it, I was assigned to Cow Lance (aka Team Moo)

With me on the Cow Lance are Skylark and Kaylar McCloud. This is the first of many moos that were to be said on this hunt.

We were gated to our staging point, but I seemed to be having difficulty getting set up with the UO Automap chat – I could send messages but not receive any. Serene Heart volunteered to take over the lance, and I gratefully stepped aside. I was a mite disappointed, however, as I had hoped to be “an inspirational leader”. To this, Skylark dipomatically replied…

The Cow Lance, given the word to move out, performed the ritualistic moo ceremony (which consists of saying “Moo”) and set forth from the staging point.

Kaylar was apparently having difficulty. No, not yak. Moo. M-O-O. Moo.

First blood. ‘Nuff said.

Serene then led us down to the beach, for um.. tactical reasons.

We dispatched many titans and cyclopean warriors. Kaylar, Serene and myself attacked our foes in close while Skylark stood back and cast defensive spells on our foes and offensive spells on us. Or was it the other way around?

It is not often, ladies and gentlemen, that something like this is captured in pictures. Witness with me, if you will, the creation of a new word…

 

We decide to pose for the camera with just a few of our many kills (fear our prowess!)

The whole moo thing kind of degenerated rather quickly after that.

 

Shortly after this point, my computer crashed. In my hurry to get back in and ensure that I wasn’t seeing in shades of grey, I neglected to start my screenshot program. Here’s what happened.

We were attacked by two titans, a cyclopean warrior and a wyvern all at once. With my lancemates barely clinging to life, I charged into the fray, healing, fighting, dancing and singing. My war axe was a blur. I singlehandedly saved my lancemates, then proceeded to crush my opponents.

Well no, that’s not what really happened. We did find a wyvern, and took out a few more titans and cyclopean warriors, and then headed back to our staging point when the word was given. Back at the castle, we divvied up the loot (51,100 some-odd gp!) and headed upstairs to drink some beer and swap lies about the hunt.

Kudos to Serene for keeping us all alive (wink) and to my lancemates Kaylar and Skylark, it was a joy fighting beside you. Let us drink to our enemy’s enemies!

– Torwyn Vaar, White Stag Knight and briefly leader of Moo Lance.

Moo.